Time floats when you´re having lukewarm fun

Unexpected delayed departure flights and dull entangled intimate committed relationships share the same flaws, in both of them people came to early, leading to subsequent emotional disappointment.

If a person forgets his own birthday does that mean he´s modest to celebrate, has a bad memory, isn’t willing to count or simply doesn’t want to know how many turns the sun did around earth since he came alive?

Providing the fact that a some child was conceived by mistake due to expired condom failure does that give the mother the right not to feel blamed about only remembering the condom´s expiration date, by trauma, and not the child´s actual birthday?

Deplorable Mental Images #1

WaterPark meets Barbwire

Catastrophes don't need apostrophes

There should be the "dinosaur" element in the scissors,paper,rock game after asteroids wiped out those species on earth.

If Earth was human it would definitely be a teenager with an identity crisis, if not let us see:
- Earthquakes resemble earth´s involuntary spasms
- Tornadoes, its shivering sensation about managing life´s hopes and dreams
- Vulcanos, its explosive bursting pimples typical of its teenage-hood

Academical support backs the fact that birds evolved from dinosaurs. Chickens are considered bird. Humans eat chickens. I think that in a couple of years time KFC´s new slogan should be "An asteroid didn't vanish dinosaurs,we did!and proudly"

I like the way World War I is actually also known as "the First Great War", as if a war was just by itself not bad enough they´re actually not just calling it great as well as the "first great"one. That´s an offense to the other wars I would say, they probably will feel sensitive about this.

Cannibalism Realism

Scorpions are cannibals and most of the times, when engaging in sexual activity, the female will generally try to eat her partner. So the typically feminine "men are all the same" quote reaches its potential maximum meaning with these animals species since males here are always post-sex delicious energy replenishing meals no matter what.

If a cannibal decides to become a vegetarian does that mean he´s a quitter or a cheater?

I wonder if this equation explains the cannibals existence on earth:
[zombies^(hunt for flesh)+ vampires ^( blood sucking appetite)]

Social Bounding

It´s quite peculiar to come to terms with the principles of certain aspects of socialization. For instance, when two persons start mingling and by consequence, bounding, intrinsic common pleasures and personal hobbies like reading the same books,listening the same music or watching the same movies become a fundamental part in the relationship´s empathy and charismatic connection between the 2 persons. So, playing it simple, we can say that 2 persons can positively socialize if their leisure habits make them anti-socialize in the same way.

Miscellaneous post #13

The similarities between mosquitos and vampires are pretty evident when it comes to blood sucking matters, but certain vampire movies like "Twilight" for instance, offered the world new coincidences, like the fact that both beings are now the most annoying organisms on earth.

The "I don't give a shit for ..." expression can be applied mainly to everything, but it couldn't have less meaning if applied to toilet paper.

Oranges are a lazy man´s best friend.Beeing an healthy food they prevent you from going to the pharmacy to get cold medicine as well as preventing you from getting your ass out of the couch in order to wash them before you eat them.

Sexual Matters

To which extent is a person apologized for committing sexual arrestment with a woman named Gravity?

Running marathons and sexual intercourse are two different activities that have proportionally inverted rhythm goals, while in the first case you win if you come first, in the 2nd case this is not that of a good thing.

Top Songs 2009

1.Sleigh Bells - Ring Ring
2.Animal Collective - My Girls
3.The Horrors - Sea Within A Sea
4.Micachu and the shapes- Abandon Ship
5.Animal Collective - Brothersport
6.Little Boots - Mathematics
7.The XX - Islands
8.White Lies - Unfinished Business
9.Arctic Monkeys- Cornerstone
10.Animal Collective - Daily Routine
11.Micachu and the shapes - Golden Phone
12.Animal Collective - Graze
13.Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks
14.La Roux - Armour Love
15.Florence and The Machine - Dog days are over
16.Fool´s Gold - Surprise Hotel
17.Passion Pit - Little Secrets
18.La Roux - Quicksand
19.Florence and The Machine - Kiss with a fist
20.Wild Beasts - The Empty Nest
21.The XX - Stars
22.Little Boots - Stuck on repeat
23.White Lies - Death
24.Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Little Shadow (acoustic)
25.The XX - Night Time
26.Emmy the great - MIA
27.U.S.E. - K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
28.Dirty Projectors - useful chamber
29.Little Boots - Meddle
30.Sleigh Bells - Crown on the ground
31.The Horrors - Scarlet Fields
32.Health - Die Slow
33.Wild Beasts - All The Kings Men
34.The Phenomenal Handclap Band - 15 to 20
35.La Roux - Bulletproof
36.White Lies - Fifty On Our Foreheads
37.Dirty Projectors - No intention
38.Slow Club- Me and you
39.Kabeedies - Lovers Ought To
40.Franz Ferdinand - What She Came For
41.Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)
42.Au revoir simone-the last one
43.Vampire Weekend - Cousins
44.Peter Doherty - Sheepskin tearaway
45.Animal Collective - What Would I Want! Sky
46.We Have Band - you came out
47.Kabeedies - Palindromes
48.Thao with the Get Down Stay Down - Cool Yourself
49.Rainbow Arabia - Harlem Sunrise
50.Patrick_wolf- Battle
50.YACHT - Psychic City

Xmas "fever"

It´s almost Christmas,so kids, stop wishing "really hard" for a present and bang your heard really hard against a door and you might as well have a seizure and get amnesia, thus, all of your belongings are presents all over again!

If I shit in the toilet at midnight on Xmas eve will the sewer rats think that I´m Santa Claus?

You know Christmas isn't what it used to be by the moment you dont have any present to play with until 3AM in the morning anymore :/

A clever way to trade those xmas presents you actually didn't want and consequently take advantage of the post xmas sales season is fairly simple, keep the present and its receipt and then swap it for something more cheap and cheerful on post xmas sales!

Best Albums 2009

Top Albums 00´s

1º - The Strokes – Is This It
2º - Radiohead – Kid A
3º - Arcade Fire – Funeral
4º - The Pipettes - We are the pipettes
5º - Be Your Own Pet – Be Your Own Pet
6º - Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend
7º - Arctic Monkeys – Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
8º - Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
9º - Late of the Pier - Fantasy Black Channel
10º - Radiohead – In Rainbows
11º - Panda Bear - Person Pitch
12º - MGMT - Oracular Spectacular
13º - The Longcut – Call and Response
14º - Bloc Party – Silent Alarm
15º - Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Fever To Tell
16º - The Futureheads - The Futureheads
17º - The Libertines – Up the Bracket
18º - Kaiser Chiefs – Employment
19º - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! - Clap your hands say Yeah
20º - Bright Eyes – I'm Wide Awake, it’s Morning
21º - The Go! Team - Proof of Youth
22º - Interpol – Antics
23º - Animal Collective - Merryweather Post Pavilion
24º - Lily Allen - Alright, Still
25º - Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
27º - Lcd Soundsystem - Lcd Soundsystem
28º - Sigur Rós - Ágætis byrjun
29º - The Hives - Veni Vidi Vicious
30º - Spank Rock – Yo Yo Yo Yo
31º - Gorillaz – Gorillaz
32º - The Strokes - Room on Fire
33º - LCD Soundsystem – Sound Of Silver
34º - Radiohead - Amnesiac
35º - Gorillaz - Demon Days
36º - The xx –xx
36º - Foals – Foals
37º - The Libertines – The Libertines
38º - Babyshambles – Down In Albion
39º - Friendly Fires - Friendly Fires
40º - The White Stripes – White Blood Cells
41º - Flight of the Conchords – Flight of the Conchords
42º - Hot Chip – The Warning
43º - You say party! We say die! – Hit the Floor
44º - Kasabian - Kasabian
45º - Battles - Mirrored
46º - GirlTalk - Night Ripper
47º - Testicicles – For Screening Purposes Only
48º - The Killers - Hot Fuss
49º - Last Shadow Pupets- Age of the Understatement
50º - Kanye West - The College Dropout
51º - Fiery Furnaces - Widow City
52º - Sigur Rós - ()
53º - The Horrors- Primary Colours
54º - CSS – CSS
55º - Justice - †
56º - Micachu and the Shapes – Jewellery
57º - Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?
58º - Bonde do Role - Bonde do role with lasers
59º - Damon Albarn, Afel Bocoum, Toumani Diabaté & Friends - Mali Music
60º - MIA – Arular

Fatness, Juggling and Hospitals

It´s good to be fat. It´s a generous and charitable thing to do, by the moment you have to dress XXL you have an entire wardrobe to donate to charity (you don't even have to mind about their size coz you know kids there are not greedy)

Fireball juggler is probably the most appealing job out there.There´s no other job in the world where with a 2 way benefit deepening on your work skill, if you´re good at it, it´s ok, you entertain crowds, if you´re bad at it and by any chances burn yourself, it´s your passport to house burglary without leaving fingerprint traces behind.

If there´s some person called "Well" out there in the world, how come is so eagerly requested by hospital patient´s visitors?

Miscellaneous post #12

What´s a dream psychologist´s dream job? its own? xD

If we take a garbage bag to the garbage bag, are we cannibalizing the product or just being retards?

Waterparks are the closest you can get if you want to feel like the food you digest

Miscellaneous post #11

Have you ever wonder if there´s a correlation between doctors and bad hand writing?
Here´s some possible explanations for this matter:
-Doctors were once possessed by seismographs in some other life
-They are actually spies and communicate with each other through secret subliminal messages written in the medicine recipes
-They just like to draw sea waves in paper to mock patients

Humans have 2 ways of eating while they´re ageing:
-In childhood, they eat with their eyes
-When growing up, their conscience tells them what to eat

Always wander around with loads of change in your wallet, you never know if you get robbed by an ex shop or supermarket cashier.

Kellog´s All Brains

Miscellaneous post #10

What a better reciprocal waste saving formula than humans making babies to be born on mothers day? Gift purchasing is cut down on both parts of the equations by default,thus leaving everybody evenly happy!

If an ophthalmologist´s patient tunes out a TV to static TV rain in the waiting room of some clinic, does he deserve to be rewarded with free medical services after gaining more patients?

I´ve took english classes in a language teaching institution where the earthquake safeness tips instructions sign is totally written in english with specific terms explained through a glossary in english as well!
I guess if my life was to be at risk there, it would definitely depend on my fast learning abilities in that course.