muahaha!

Some people live by the rule “live your life like it was your last day”, well that for me just doesn’t make any sense… according to my “things to do before I die” list i don’t want to take over the world everyday, it would become too boring :P

I’ve seen some bachelor parties and one thing that’s kinda boring and predictable are those customs in which the strippers (male or female ) choose to arouse the future groom/bride. Well, to spark some enlightening to future parties ill display some ideas that might come in useful for you stripers, here’s a list of the customs in which you could dress to set the party on fire :D (And im not in any way referring to the old fire fighter custom, that’s too dated)

Astronaut: how sexy is that Hein? not only the stripper would take a million years to take off the entire custom but he could suffocate if not managing to take out the helmet on time.
Scuba Diver: fashionably dressed in one of those very practical helmets off course
Nuclear Plant security staffs man: Would not sell in Hiroshima and Nagasaki
Medieval Warrior: quite a turn on init?

C sick

A person who got overloaded eating all the c´s from an alphabet soup is C sick!hey!:P

Over Excitment

What are suicidal people but curious, anatomy lovers people that got over excited discovering the limits of their bodies:P

Underrated Facts

Breath: Ever noticed that people only complain about someone’s bad breath? Good breath is so underrated its unfair: P a person can have her mouth smelling like roses and nevertheless its not an asset :P

Why is it 1 in the morning after midnight if at midnight there´s still another half of the night to go?:P

Let Dogs Play Poker Instead

In Portugal there’s a common expression which the Portuguese have been used to these past couple of years when the country is referred which goes by “Portugal, the tail of Europe!”, well in fact its very despising because not only we compare the word tail mainly to dogs and as we know these little animals shake their tails when they’re happy so its kinda ironic to think that Europe, that giant “dog” is happy while Portugal is constantly shaken and not for good reasons. But the thing is, that to me It kinda resembles me the idea of a dog with a desire to scratch himself in the tail and he cant because he cannot reach there by himself, kinda like if he’s infected with germs in the lower area and he has Edward Scissor hands or so :P
Another fact considering the tail subject is that certain animals like dogs have dumb fun chasing they’re own tails like mad, well, in this situation the analogy that I made back there does not apply hence, Europe that “huge furry beast” does not bother to chase such insignificant things. Perhaps such animal like this does not comply with his tail and cannot reach it or he sees it like a mere prop to is tired body and life ahead...oh well...Let Dogs play poker instead.

Mirror Siblings

I bet that a person with low self esteem for her looks would kill his twin brother.

A twin brother can be used like a guinea pig to some experiments, kinda like a mine defusing programmed robot car that deactivates potential dangers.

Statues Have Feelings Too

There’s an outdoor citizen exposition in Portugal called cow parade which consists of painted cow sculptures exhibited throughout the city of Lisbon. The thing is…if some of the human race gets offended if animals get painted all over due to disrespect for animal rights, do statues get offend with such atrocity as well? :P

Love,Love,Love, this isnt it!

Why do people guarantee to each other that they are going to love the other person until he/she dyes? Does that mean that he she’s going to betray her in the afterlife?

Sarcastic Compliments:
“You’re my favorite girlfriend!”
“You may sure are one hell of a slut, but you’re the sweetest slut in the whole world!^^
“I’m never going to betray you because you are they only girlfriend that likes handcuffs”
“You’re definitely on top of the list of my favorite people, right above my enemies”
“From all the people that I felt like strangulating you’re my favorite!^^”

Weird Rituals

Far away from lucidity and proper awake ness each and then I’ve been noticing some peculiar habits that caught my attention, those will be mentioned here and I will try to give a proper explanation from the view point of those who practice them...Withouth further ado here we go..
 Foosball, the table game in each you control tinny little metallic football players and try to score goals. Loads of people hit the ball on the margin of the table before throwing it to the field, what’s with that? The ball is square shaped and not functional to play with?
 Shaking the tinny little packet of sugar that comes with the coffee, last time I checked I think the sugar wasn’t condensed or am I wrong? Maybe those packets weren’t used and fall from planes and then freeze in the meantime.
 Ripping up a paper before throwing it into the bin… well that’s the right thing to do really. Because the garbage paper hunters will definitely be pissed when encountering such situation, yesss of courseee.
 Smelling wine before drinking it , maybe the people who do this were cats in other incarnation and only drink what they think smells good who knows.

Suicidal Note xD

One of these days ill write a conscience suicidal note, it would be above me while I was sleeping and it would go something like this:
Mom, dad , I’m sick and tired of that what you call lucidity and awareness, that’s not for me, i´ve left to the 3rd sleep stage don’t wait for me I’m already on REM, None of the alarm-clocks are functional.
My mother would go like: I well got tired of telling him not to count sheep! Such a disgrace! Good God! :P

D-D-D-DJaying

A DJ that is a stammer always compromises things, both in his speech and in his DJ scratching he takes a while to finish off a something.

Those Sushi Bars

What is a sushi bar but a place where you can do lazy fishing by standing next to a circulating table waiting for the raw fish to show up.

An Aquarium is a fridge for sushi lovers.

Word Slaughter

"Curiosidade" deve ser a palavra mais chaçinada e que mais possuimos á face da terra:"vou matar a curiosidade" "tenho tanta curiosidade"

Lame Lingo

There’s a French band out there called Air, this is going to revolutionize our relationship with the air itself, we can only not just breath it but hear it as well.

It Would be funny to see someone do TV zapping trough channel tuning.

Some people like to “feel” the music they’re listening to, I jut restrain myself to touch the speakers while its playing.

Age and all that

The Speed of Vehicles can be measured by Km/H, the same as the drugs junkies consume can be measured by Grams/Day.

It’s Funny to notice that as we’re getting older we are more and more hiding our real age. In youth we show how old we are with the fingers on our hands, in adolescence we tell the our age without any problems and even lie about it to make us seem older, When we’re adults we “are old enough to not to play around” until we reach “middle age” crisis(without specifically tell our age to people) and then when we’re old we’re in “our 70´s,80´s 90´s” without being precise to tell people, and we’re “too old for this..” “too old for that..”

The Horror..ahahahaha

I´m O-ren Ishii!Sweet!


What movie Villan are you?Find out at:

bah!

It would be funny to see actors bragging about the Oscars they’re going to win when they’re actually acting for the movie

Going on an excursion can be compared to watching a movie where it shows a book being red to you, everything is being taken care of and you still get to “travel”.

When people enter a magazine store and start seeing a magazine in a different angle you know something is wrong. =D

As much new products arrive in 2nd hand stores they are never new.

A really big incompatibility would be a a junkie with a cold sniffing cocaine, its like a vacuum cleaner that got overload with garbage.

Miscellaneous(part II)

What are mummies but people who got over excited putting on a long scarf.

Singing in playback in a concert is like using cheat paper in an exam.

Why do people practice chocolate sculpture of its final purpose is to be shown and not to be eaten?

Depressed people only laugh when they´re brushing their teeth. : p

Why do we turn off the lights when we go to bed? If we’re with our eyes closed aren’t we suppose to see nothing already?


To me any interest in politics is useless; any interest apart from voting is too much. It’s like eating a soup we don’t like, we don’t want to know how and with was it made, we just want to eat up quickly to overcome its flavor