Perfect Thefts #1

Some person going to the supermarket, shopping for markers, takes them out of their package to see its color (by writing in the same package) and not taking the product.

Post It

Mushi-Mushi

Ever wonder why china has so much population? And what about when cartoon characters dig holes and end up in the other part of the world which, for reasons unknown, is always in China? No wonder you find these specimens out on the streets there then-->

Not tested in humans

If all the existing moles were claustrophobic there would be earthquakes spread all over the world

Even if a baby glow worm was afraid of the dark there would be plenty of presence lights to back him up

Best Songs2006

1º Lily Allen - LDN
2º Klaxons-Atlantis to interzone
3º CSS-Superafim
4º The Pipettes - Pull Shapes
5º The Strokes-Razorblade
6º Be Your Own Pet- Adventure.
7º The Automatic -Monster
8º Artic Monkeys-A Certain Romance
9º Test icicles - catch it
10º Artic Monkeys- Fake Tales of San Francisco
11º CSS- Let's make love and listen death from above
12º Lily Allen-smile
13º Jamie T-Sheila
14º CSS-Bezzi
15º Be Your Own Pet- Girls On TV
16º The Kooks - she moves in her own way
17º Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - The Skin Of My Yellow Country Teeth
18º The Strokes-You Only Live Once
19º Get Cape.Wear Cape.Fly.-Call Me Ishmael
20º The Gossip - Listen Up!
21º The Longcut- A Tried And Tested Method
22º The Guillemots-Made Up Love Song #43
23º The Gossip - Standing In The Way Of Control
24º Lily Allen-Not Big
25º Cat Power-TheGreatest
26º The Long Blondes-once and never again
27º Scissor Sisters - I Don't Feel Like Dancing
28º The Sounds-24 Hours
29º Lady Sovereign - Random
30º Regina Spektor-Fidelity
31º The Fratellis-Chelsea Dagger
32º The Long Blondes-Seperated By Motorways
33º Albert Hammond junior - back to the 101
34º The Longcut-Spires
35º Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - In This Home On Ice
36º The Rakes- Work, Work, Work (Pub, Club, Sleep)
37º The Killers - Read my mind
38º The Sunshine Underground - Put You In Your Place
39º The Rakes - 22 Grand Job
40º Klaxons- Gravity´s rainbow

00/00/00 -->worldwide holiday(beginning of the world)

A good way for a couple to save some money with their son´s presents is to calculate the exact time to procreate for the baby to be born in the Christmas day, therefore he would only deserve one gift and make the couple spendings way more cheap! :D

The Elixir of youth is to be born in the 29th of February! Therefore you only age after 4 years pass by! :P

Emo´s Cook Book

To all the emos out there,
Throw yer wrists in the air,
Cut them like you just dont care

Best in Music 2006

Make Tea Not Love

I’ve Finally Figured out the solution to stop the war, every nation should be only armed with champagne bottles, not only the soldiers would have a single shot but they would get to drunk until they could “reload” their ammunition.

sigh hail!

If I asked you what similarities exist between dictators and retards you probably would say all of them, but in my view there’s a major one, these are only the 2 groups of people whom people agree with in all of their view points just to give them satisfaction

The Gap!(between the rich and the poor)

In this great era of major advance in all sorts of developments how come homeless people haven’t fixed an autopilot to do their begging for change “work”?

Contradition -part1-

If there´s one person that loves others coz they´re the best in something (like the most clever, the most smart) how could that person deal with the most hateful guy?

Give me a hand will ya

How does a teenage leper figures out his medical state?
“here’s my arm dad, go measure my blood pressure will ya”

Father´s Day v.2.1®

I had an idea for a business concept...
instead of all that burocratic process which consists of a child making a customized and personalized loving care present to his daddy on father’s day why not establishing a factory called "personalized programmed tender gifts for dads"! :D a lot of work saved there ;)

___#%_#22::::#

Who came first, the egg or the chicken? Well, that´s easy, the chicken off course, everybody knows eggs can´t have an orgasm.

Voodoo Yawning

I’ve finally figured out the reason we humans open our mouths lazily when we’re sleepy which in a more technical manner can be called “to yawn”.
We’ll, to some people god all mighty has control of us in various manners., kinda like a huge magician performing voodoo on our lifes. So, when some of us got tired of pranging out all day long chatin´ shit from their bin mouths god puts his foot on his bin with that little pedal therefore making those people’s mouth open just like those litter bins therefore yawning can be considered voodoo! :P

E=TV^(air)

It’s amazing how the TV world comes to contest the laws of physics, from the moment we enter in a TV studio that’s broadcasting live, we’re immediately on the air, and I’m still the one to bother buying plane tickets(clap clap,lame laugh)

Déjà vu

I checked out the translation for this universal expression and came to the conclusion that it means something”already considered” but to me its nothing more than a re-run of an episode of our pseudo sitcom lifes.

When I encounter an Alzheimer patient having déjà vu´s then I can die happy :D

How do people complain about…

The boomerang they bought not turning back to the place they send it from?
The change they were given after they paid the fees at some highway’s tolls gate?
Shops not selling letter soups in the Arabic alphabet?
In Both of them cases it’s a risk you take when going forward with these actions and prey to god not to be born Muslim off course.

Shoppers Delight

I would pleasantly like to address here those tremendous loving care people that attend us at every small shop in the malls and their pseudo persuasive hospitality to the customer who, in the first place thought of buying something( before they’ve encountered these programmed cyborgs that is). And I mean those who we encounter by the minute we put one foot inside their shops ( its like the employees are immediately activated to annoy people trough infrared system as he hit some ray on the floor the minute we enter! ”hi there! how can I help you? We’ve got those shoes for your size, purple looks good on you, I’ve got this thing over here that’s matches exactly your style!” and this is the point where you go “ stooooop!!” (in your head off course,coz if you shout out loud people would either think that you insane or a tremendous spice girls fan)
It’s like they’re our mothers asking us those tremendously irritating questions as we prepare ourselves for a date.
Off course customers could reply in an honest matter such as: how many I help you? You can shut up that pie whole of yours! But that would be hardly truthful, so a nice and honest “Fuck Off” would be pleasantly respectful to the manner.
And we can say that we’re only looking with no intentions of buying but I guess that the people who are reading this have a life so I reckon ill move on.
I Guess the perfect approach to this type of situation would be grabbing yourselves to some product and ask for in imaged orders, such as” do you have this Childs cap with a real rotor on top?” therefore you would fly away from there in style” yeah! =D