Crash Test(ed) Dummies

There´s an exposition in Lisbon where there are accidentally originated damaged cars displayed inside road roundabouts exactly in one of the most traffic zones in the city, is this supposed to be amusing? or stimulating people who drive by and see those cars to have an accident in seconds time as well and be themselves a "work of art" to that exhibition?

Today i´ve saw a hospital right near to a funerary agency,does this motivate the doctors there? i mean, its like a goddam human lifetime cycle factory they have going on there, give birth, be sick, dye and package body, over and over

Miscellaneous post #8

Stammerers don't only have reasons to be disappointed with themselves, they can multiply their echoing in mountain tops as many times as they want without even noticing.

What´s the deal with stand up comedians saying "what´s the deal with..?", were they brokers or stock financial market addicts in their past reincarnation?

Cantine cooks are the only type of employees who can eat their own work.

Pre-Historic Graffiti

Graffiti paintings nowadays are mainly considered vandalism, but i wonder, back in the pre-historic times, did they actually have someone to rub out the primitive paintings on the rocks?I mean, did they had like, some major supreme identity to weep out all the main and only artistic hobbie?
And graffiti nowadays are done by people who claim "their from the streets", and this makes me wonder where were the Australopithecus were from...
I´ll leave that to paleoanthropology.

Electric Eel

Who´s the only animal with autism (emotionless animal) able to get away with pic up lines towards females?
The male glow-worm, with: "Your ass is briliant!" :D

What does a female dog says to a vicious horny drulling male dog? Do you have rabies or are you just happy to see me?

Glow worms generate light, eels make electricity, could a mix up between these two cause a shortcircuit?Maybe stars are their babies :D

(Ar)rest on laurels

Drumming is the most counter-productive activity out there, you're sitting on a chair supposedly relaxing albeit squandering your rest at the same time. And what can one do after being tired of drumming so much? Rest right? By doing what? sitting on a chair! There you go! It´s an viced and cycled energy expenditure activity.

When running I like to hear the most funniest stand up comedy CD whatsoever, hence It makes me want to piss myself laughing throughout of it all, making me have extra reasons to keep on running to reach the toilet.

Graveyard Parties

Why do people say: "she´s gone, but she´s in a much better place now" when someone dies?If that would be true, subway drivers and miners would be delighted with their work.

What does a comedian cannibal say to another one after eating a whole group of 4 people wo were doing a safari ride?
" I think i´m gonna throw parties"

Am i the only one or Bryan Adam´s "Summer of 69" song was a tribute to a wild sex marathon season in his life?

The Question is, if onions were jewish people could they put Hitler to Cry?

Miscellaneous post #7

You never can be too late for a running exercise, because, normally, the moment you´re late to something, you tend to run for it, in this case, when you do this you´re already doing what you were late for.

Baker is the only profession where workers apparently seem to have two professions according to where they´re at. If they´re indoors baking they´re bakers, but outdoors, all dressed up in white like that they seem like belonging to some religious cult.

Ipso Facto

People´s intrinsic actions are the best" publicity" to other people, if more than 2 people are staring at a laptop in a store, more people will arrive and stare at it, if someone yawns, other people tend to yawn too, if people think some train is about to leave the station, people will run for it, and if only one person does that, a bunch of new people are about to follow this"imaginary subway train"as well.

Vegan Post

My carnivorous plant died, it made a drastic life change and decided to become a vegetarian, needless to say that no one warned her about automatically becoming cannibalistic too.

Hitler was a vegetarian, who would have known irrationality was the key for jews to be treated nicely.

Miscellaneous post #6

Ever wonder if much of nature´s natural disasters could be explain by the "hands of god"? for instance:
Thunderstorm: God´s taking us pictures using his flash on the camera, and 10 seconds later wets himself of laughter at us thus, this explains the rain after the thunder.
Earthquake:God pulls huge lever when he fells a bit bored and has the need to sake things up a bit, just for the fun of it :)

Miscellaneous post #5

• Ever wonder yourself why there are seats in the last subway stations of a line?i mean, why does anyone have to seat there?Do i need to wait for the subway train that leads to the station itself?

• Aint it funny to see people gesticulate what they want to say to people that they know they´re far away and can´t hear them and yet, they kinda whisper what they want to say anyway? :P

• What´s wrong with markets these days and their egos, why is a market called a supermarket? Does he need a super hero reputation to keep him ego-ed up?

Ever wondered if that bouncy ball in the karaoke songs could be a dot looking for his "i" letter?

Time Out

"Time" is the most massacred word of them all, so it seems,check it out:

• Time is beaten constantly , if time was a human in school it would be the geeky boy who was always bullied for his lunch money --> e.g."i´ll try to beat that time".

• Time can be as well a junkie or so, as it seems there is always "waisted time.

• Apparently time is morbid as well coz there´s plenty of "dead time" around.

• Time can be a stressed out business man too since there is "time-lapse".

Sex Matter(s)

Ejaculation can reach a speed of 50 Km/h, the same speed as a gun can kill a person.
It´s incredible how the human race can create 2 different ways to start/finish a life at the same speed

It takes 10 seconds for an erection to be acomplished, about the same time for a human to overcome a 100 mt race. They say that if you wish hard enough for something, it can happen, too bad this only applies for the first one.

No Pain, No Game

It´s curious to notice that the best sensations can come from reliefs, physical or physiological,
To be more specific I can exemplify this with thigh shoes for instance, when we use tight shoes for a whole day, in the end of it we feel oh so very well when taking them off isn’t it?
At a physiological level , there´s the pregnancy test factor, once you dont know if you got your woman pregnant with a new born child thats not in the plans , we tend to feel a huge relieve when this pregnancy test goes negative.
So then, why not we all go to the street wearing snickers 2 numbers bellow our real ones? Why not overload our bladders during a whole day like a huge pot of beer?
Why not stay famished all day forcing our stomachs to snore making people think we farted ourselves?
In a more extreme way, why not joining all these inconvenient and undesirable factors all together?
Imagine yourself travelling to work in the morning in a monocycle trough a rope with tight shoes, famished and with an overloaded bladder? I bet you´ll feel in heaven in the end of the day ma lad ;)

Miscellaneous post #5

If a person is afraid of the dark but then again afraid of his shadow how would she deal with himself? -->

Arent dreams related to Subway rides?
in both of them we travel still, not having consciousness where we are exactly, in "deep"space and time passes by like a flash!

In shivery terms, kissing a ladies hand nowadays is considered charming.
Kissing a ladies hand in a cannibalistic civilization in the other hand would loose its shivery aspect since it would be considered an appetizer.