Miscellaneous(part II)

What are mummies but people who got over excited putting on a long scarf.

Singing in playback in a concert is like using cheat paper in an exam.

Why do people practice chocolate sculpture of its final purpose is to be shown and not to be eaten?

Depressed people only laugh when they´re brushing their teeth. : p

Why do we turn off the lights when we go to bed? If we’re with our eyes closed aren’t we suppose to see nothing already?


To me any interest in politics is useless; any interest apart from voting is too much. It’s like eating a soup we don’t like, we don’t want to know how and with was it made, we just want to eat up quickly to overcome its flavor

Why is it said that there are black and white TV’s? Are black and white so discriminated that they can even be considered colors?

Electrocution victims ease up the taxidermy process.

Gay people are they only ones that can have pleasure while seeing themselves in front of a mirror.=D

I’ve figured out the difference between women and men, they both love children, in the meantime the first ones end up being nannies and the others pedophiles.

It would be nice to see someone actually appearing to a drving exam in a car(driving that is)

Miscellaneous

Playing the drums is like having the right spasms with the right timing and tapping your foot on the right place to a song.

More and More I come to terms with the idea the fact that those birthday cake candles that never seem to blown out is not coz they’re made to do that but they’re a sign of some prophecy.

In Portugal its imposed to people to have certain ways of talking depending on the age of the person and the level of familiarity you have with them. So, If you are for example talking to an older person you have to restrain your speech to a certain level as a sign of respect ,the same case if your talking to a doctor or a professor. So. if you want to mistreat someone here you have to be careful to follow the linguistic grammar scale.

It would be funny to see a fish all dirty in his own habitat. =D

“Are you Sleeping?” must be the only question that can’t have a positive response.

What’s the question you should never ask a legless person in the middle of sea?
Do you have feet there? :x

When people repeat expressions either they are stammers or they are threatening something.

One thing that I find amusing are those people that are watching knowledge contests on TV and are think they know the answer to the questions for sure and are constantly calling all sorts of names to the contestants that don’t seem to know it. It’s like the 5 minutes of intellectual fame for the mere middle aged fat drunkyard sat around the television 24/7.

Today I’ve shaved my beard, I actually haven’t done that for so long that the tiny organisms living there woke from their hibernation period.

Ultimate Homeless Guide To Survival

An Homeless person’s life can be complety outrageous and shameful and that is that, but one thing is for sure there are some convenient and effective ways to ease up things and to overcome some of the needs managing this unfortunate struggle with life, but the problem is, some homeless people don’t realize how certain things can be arranged and if they do they don’t have the courage to do it by their own hands.. So homeless ladies and junkie gentleman...i present to you all the ultimate convenient guide to survival!
Ok lets see then, first of all my fellow junkie, you have to wonder around the trash cans to find some dirty old yummy eggs and some fish that was left uneaten (tasty) and pour them onto your bowl...lool, im just joking I don’t want to make this a recipe or something similar =D

Ok lets start, beginning with some simple steps to at least avoid my fellow junkie’s hunger belly noises to make people know you only fart from your ass and no more place whatsoever.

1º- Our fellow junkie friends are not that opportunists since there are loads of restaurants with outdoor tables , since these kind of services do exist and some rich folk always give a huge tip every now and then this is a major opportunities to profit , If I was a homeless person myself I would do the restaurant’s clean up task myself and get those shinny looking tips, everybody would profit from that, the waiters would already get some work done ahead and I would be spending the money on that shinny gold hip hop necklace where you could read “POOR4LIFE”.yeah!
2º-Cantines, and now you that are reading as anybody else might think, but in canteens you have to pay for your meals! Ok, its true but that’s not the point, The thing is, mainly in college canteens we often see some people don’t always eat everything they had planned for starters, soooo my dear homeless gentleman! Go for it! Run for your lifes! Yes and I might just mean that literally( who knows if some cases aren’t that extreme that some of you might turn cannibals and start eating each other :D its better to actually eat something than to start hallucinating thinking that your fellow homeless mate is a hamburger)
Its in these times that “wealthy” students who don’t mind wasting food take their part in solidarity actions since they are likely not to do it properly at all, they might think for themselves we posh/cocky people give a lot and contribute to their welfare they just just don’t look in the proper places (in this case, back at the canteen dumpster)
3º- Talking about Dumpsters, how about a little trip to your local one? You may find it useful somehow..eheh,ok we might not have to go that far. =)
4º- Supermarkets, the main capitalist place where all the shopping addicts find their idea for a great holiday time spending, to some it’s a pain in the ass, especially the husbands that are “commanded” by their wifes to go to the end of the corridor grabbing something they forgot before, someone must let them know that the slave age has ended long time ago. To others it can be a window of opportunities, and with this im talking about the homeless again off course.You see marketing plans may be seen as some flashy and enthusiastic away to grab the costumer’s attention, in supermarkets there are loads of these things, im talking about those publicity “stunts” companies put up on supermarkets where they give people samples of their products. So, with this been told I say: who said marketing strategies were persuasive and and annoying as fuck? These plans may be viewed as kindness and solidarity as well, those poor bastards just don’t notice that. So. Therefore I would give advise you to get all you can from these precious offer samples, try to make the best of it, kinda like an all you can eat buffet of free samples.