Sexual Matters

To which extent is a person apologized for committing sexual arrestment with a woman named Gravity?

Running marathons and sexual intercourse are two different activities that have proportionally inverted rhythm goals, while in the first case you win if you come first, in the 2nd case this is not that of a good thing.

Top Songs 2009

1.Sleigh Bells - Ring Ring
2.Animal Collective - My Girls
3.The Horrors - Sea Within A Sea
4.Micachu and the shapes- Abandon Ship
5.Animal Collective - Brothersport
6.Little Boots - Mathematics
7.The XX - Islands
8.White Lies - Unfinished Business
9.Arctic Monkeys- Cornerstone
10.Animal Collective - Daily Routine
11.Micachu and the shapes - Golden Phone
12.Animal Collective - Graze
13.Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks
14.La Roux - Armour Love
15.Florence and The Machine - Dog days are over
16.Fool´s Gold - Surprise Hotel
17.Passion Pit - Little Secrets
18.La Roux - Quicksand
19.Florence and The Machine - Kiss with a fist
20.Wild Beasts - The Empty Nest
21.The XX - Stars
22.Little Boots - Stuck on repeat
23.White Lies - Death
24.Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Little Shadow (acoustic)
25.The XX - Night Time
26.Emmy the great - MIA
27.U.S.E. - K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
28.Dirty Projectors - useful chamber
29.Little Boots - Meddle
30.Sleigh Bells - Crown on the ground
31.The Horrors - Scarlet Fields
32.Health - Die Slow
33.Wild Beasts - All The Kings Men
34.The Phenomenal Handclap Band - 15 to 20
35.La Roux - Bulletproof
36.White Lies - Fifty On Our Foreheads
37.Dirty Projectors - No intention
38.Slow Club- Me and you
39.Kabeedies - Lovers Ought To
40.Franz Ferdinand - What She Came For
41.Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)
42.Au revoir simone-the last one
43.Vampire Weekend - Cousins
44.Peter Doherty - Sheepskin tearaway
45.Animal Collective - What Would I Want! Sky
46.We Have Band - you came out
47.Kabeedies - Palindromes
48.Thao with the Get Down Stay Down - Cool Yourself
49.Rainbow Arabia - Harlem Sunrise
50.Patrick_wolf- Battle
50.YACHT - Psychic City

Xmas "fever"

It´s almost Christmas,so kids, stop wishing "really hard" for a present and bang your heard really hard against a door and you might as well have a seizure and get amnesia, thus, all of your belongings are presents all over again!

If I shit in the toilet at midnight on Xmas eve will the sewer rats think that I´m Santa Claus?

You know Christmas isn't what it used to be by the moment you dont have any present to play with until 3AM in the morning anymore :/

A clever way to trade those xmas presents you actually didn't want and consequently take advantage of the post xmas sales season is fairly simple, keep the present and its receipt and then swap it for something more cheap and cheerful on post xmas sales!

Best Albums 2009

Top Albums 00´s

1º - The Strokes – Is This It
2º - Radiohead – Kid A
3º - Arcade Fire – Funeral
4º - The Pipettes - We are the pipettes
5º - Be Your Own Pet – Be Your Own Pet
6º - Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend
7º - Arctic Monkeys – Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
8º - Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
9º - Late of the Pier - Fantasy Black Channel
10º - Radiohead – In Rainbows
11º - Panda Bear - Person Pitch
12º - MGMT - Oracular Spectacular
13º - The Longcut – Call and Response
14º - Bloc Party – Silent Alarm
15º - Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Fever To Tell
16º - The Futureheads - The Futureheads
17º - The Libertines – Up the Bracket
18º - Kaiser Chiefs – Employment
19º - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! - Clap your hands say Yeah
20º - Bright Eyes – I'm Wide Awake, it’s Morning
21º - The Go! Team - Proof of Youth
22º - Interpol – Antics
23º - Animal Collective - Merryweather Post Pavilion
24º - Lily Allen - Alright, Still
25º - Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
27º - Lcd Soundsystem - Lcd Soundsystem
28º - Sigur Rós - Ágætis byrjun
29º - The Hives - Veni Vidi Vicious
30º - Spank Rock – Yo Yo Yo Yo
31º - Gorillaz – Gorillaz
32º - The Strokes - Room on Fire
33º - LCD Soundsystem – Sound Of Silver
34º - Radiohead - Amnesiac
35º - Gorillaz - Demon Days
36º - The xx –xx
36º - Foals – Foals
37º - The Libertines – The Libertines
38º - Babyshambles – Down In Albion
39º - Friendly Fires - Friendly Fires
40º - The White Stripes – White Blood Cells
41º - Flight of the Conchords – Flight of the Conchords
42º - Hot Chip – The Warning
43º - You say party! We say die! – Hit the Floor
44º - Kasabian - Kasabian
45º - Battles - Mirrored
46º - GirlTalk - Night Ripper
47º - Testicicles – For Screening Purposes Only
48º - The Killers - Hot Fuss
49º - Last Shadow Pupets- Age of the Understatement
50º - Kanye West - The College Dropout
51º - Fiery Furnaces - Widow City
52º - Sigur Rós - ()
53º - The Horrors- Primary Colours
54º - CSS – CSS
55º - Justice - †
56º - Micachu and the Shapes – Jewellery
57º - Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?
58º - Bonde do Role - Bonde do role with lasers
59º - Damon Albarn, Afel Bocoum, Toumani Diabaté & Friends - Mali Music
60º - MIA – Arular

Fatness, Juggling and Hospitals

It´s good to be fat. It´s a generous and charitable thing to do, by the moment you have to dress XXL you have an entire wardrobe to donate to charity (you don't even have to mind about their size coz you know kids there are not greedy)

Fireball juggler is probably the most appealing job out there.There´s no other job in the world where with a 2 way benefit deepening on your work skill, if you´re good at it, it´s ok, you entertain crowds, if you´re bad at it and by any chances burn yourself, it´s your passport to house burglary without leaving fingerprint traces behind.

If there´s some person called "Well" out there in the world, how come is so eagerly requested by hospital patient´s visitors?

Miscellaneous post #12

What´s a dream psychologist´s dream job? its own? xD

If we take a garbage bag to the garbage bag, are we cannibalizing the product or just being retards?

Waterparks are the closest you can get if you want to feel like the food you digest

Miscellaneous post #11

Have you ever wonder if there´s a correlation between doctors and bad hand writing?
Here´s some possible explanations for this matter:
-Doctors were once possessed by seismographs in some other life
-They are actually spies and communicate with each other through secret subliminal messages written in the medicine recipes
-They just like to draw sea waves in paper to mock patients

Humans have 2 ways of eating while they´re ageing:
-In childhood, they eat with their eyes
-When growing up, their conscience tells them what to eat

Always wander around with loads of change in your wallet, you never know if you get robbed by an ex shop or supermarket cashier.

Kellog´s All Brains

Miscellaneous post #10

What a better reciprocal waste saving formula than humans making babies to be born on mothers day? Gift purchasing is cut down on both parts of the equations by default,thus leaving everybody evenly happy!

If an ophthalmologist´s patient tunes out a TV to static TV rain in the waiting room of some clinic, does he deserve to be rewarded with free medical services after gaining more patients?

I´ve took english classes in a language teaching institution where the earthquake safeness tips instructions sign is totally written in english with specific terms explained through a glossary in english as well!
I guess if my life was to be at risk there, it would definitely depend on my fast learning abilities in that course.

Miscellaneous post #9

Taxi Drivers must be the luckiest workers in the world, they get a taxi ride home for free at the end of each day, not many people can say that. And if they forgot to deliver a customer, is this considered job homework?







Why do people tend to lift and wave their arms while riding a rollercoaster?Do they want to tell the world they don't suffer arm sweat? do they want highest taxidermy corpse they can get after they die there? are they trying to grab a cloud? do they think it´s a "look father, no hands" rollercoaster photo opportunity? have your say!

Why Job Interviews are important...

(w8)/(Believe)-ing

A church is like a hospital´s waiting room, in both of them people pray to god not to be sick ,to be healthy forever and hope not to suffer anything dangerous, the only difference between them is that, if faith followers are in a hospital´s waiting room, they´re a few church visits short.

1...2...1!2!3!FAIL!

Why do rock n´roll musicians always have to count to 1,2,3,4 before the beginning of each song?do they had a trauma counting numbers in their childhood?or do they do this because they feel the need to count the total numbers of members in their band to check if they can carry on?
And some singers even repeat the first 2 numbers,something like: 1...2... 1,2,3,4! it´s like their warming up their motorcycle engine or something.
Wouldn´t it be more practical and convenient to use complex names of diseases or so?
Rhinosinusitis...Amebiasis...
Rhinosinusitis!Amebiasis!Hypertrophic!Bronchiolitis!Mucormycosis! Pampammmm Parampam!

The Meaning Of Life

As far as the human race gain consciousness of its presence on earth a question rose all of the sudden, and that question is about life and what´s its meaning. Well, for starters, most of the humanity most be very lazy since they can find its meaning in every dictionary:

life(noun)
1.the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.

Nevertheless i´ll try to describe myself a plausible explanation for it, in every time aspect of it´s timelife evolution.
First of all, on birth a female human squeezes a tiny human organism from it´s utter in organism, this can be some sort of canon test shooting technique to figure out the human accuracy on target. Then this tiny humanoid organism grows, and, somehow the purpose of it´s life as it grows is to get wet in water all the time, i´ll explain. By the moment that humans wake up all they want to do is to shower,thus wet themselves. During all year, humans work so as to have a reasonable amount of money to spent, and where do they spend this money? on vacations, and where to they vacate? in sunny places where there is a beach near, and for what purpose? to wet themselves.So humans live their life's to vacate in water. Kinda like pigs but more hygienic.
And what does sleep stage means?Well i´ll try to show you with a cartoon:



Oh, and finally, regarding the canon test shooting technique to figure out the human accuracy on target I mention early, well that accuracy is well needed since when death arrives humans have to be buried, so, somebody has to have the strength and accuracy to basket them deep bellow.
Therefore and to sum up everything, the meaning of life is a whole gigantic prolonged basketball shooting range test, where the "ball" trembles in between beach baths until it reaches his basket. voilá!

Always look on the side of bright side of Life

They´re are innumerous disorders which have plenty of good sides to them, here are a few examples:

Alzheimer: Con: Forgetting Stuff once and a while Pro: Remembering Stuff when you least expect, like some forgotten penny below the couch´s pillow = Unexpected imminent happiness, hurray!

Amnesia: Con:Forgetting Everything Pro:Trauma Removal = Don’t have to deal with those bad sexuality doubts in adolescence times or that time you got caught by your parents dancing naked around the house riding a broom, oh wait, did I said that out loud?

Stammering: Con:Speech disorder in which the flow of speech is disrupted by involuntary repetitions Pro:Great Dj beatboxing skills

Tourette Syndrome : Con:disorder with multiple vocal tics Pro:Great testosterone level mechanism since cursing may come out a lot (anger management therapy not included, evidently)

Narcolepsy: Con: Excessive Daytime Sleepiness Pro: Although soup doesn’t taste much better after you fell with your head in it, this sickness is the perfect excuse to annoying moment such as: you´re lover yelling at you for leaving the toilet seat up, your mom telling you to clean your room, reading this blog..but hey!dont go just yet ,there´s another post coming up :)

- There´s some news today regarding prison guards that were bribed to allow a prisioner´s wife to have sex with him in his cell.Well, I wonder what bad could happen to these guards themselves? go to jail? oh the horror...